No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
