My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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