I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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