So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
