Don't you send me to vm
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Someone signed my nipple.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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