So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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