wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
