my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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