im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
