she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
