Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
