and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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