the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
