You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
