i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
