Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think my moral compass just broke
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
