belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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