So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
