Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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