I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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