Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
