why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
