Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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