Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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