i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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