You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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