does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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