I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
