i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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