The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
