Moan for me like Helen Keller
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
