3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Come on in and take your pants off
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