Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
