I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
