Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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