This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
