I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
