her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
