So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
