this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
