Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
