he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
