I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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