That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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