There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
