Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He shit in the fireplace
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
