It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
