so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize