He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
