Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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