Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
