I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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