he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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