he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize