I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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