Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
