And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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