If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
