i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
