so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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