Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
