now i know why i became what i already was.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
