So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
