so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize