Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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