Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
