is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize