Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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