just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
