See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
